Twas the night before…

17 Feb

Tomorrow is the start of our main prep course and the nerves are finally here. I think perhaps because the process has been so long for us it’s never seemed like it’s really happening. Leaving work this evening was the trigger I think. Normally I take a week off and may not actually have anything planned. But this week we have something major planned!

Four days of learning as much as possible about ourselves, the process, the children and their backgrounds. The advice from Wednesday evenings meeting was to go in with an open mind. Currently we want to adopt a child under 3, no preference on gender, ethnic background either British/Eastern European and potentially open to a little one with some medical issues as long as they could live independently as adults.

I don’t know many birth parents who have to think about so many things when having children.

When you are planning to get pregnant do you think about the worst case scenarios?

What happens if your child is born disabled or becomes ill?

What could you cope with and what would be too much?

How would your extending family deal with your little one needing just a little more care?

The other issue is age. When a woman gets pregnant she knows the new baby will be exactly that. A brand new person who has no personality quirks, fears, mental or emotionally scars or baggage. That little person is perfect and it is only the experiences of their lives that change the perfection.

When we adopt, we will be bring a little person into our lives who may have already been through more in their short lives then most adults will have to face in a whole lifetime. We won’t be bringing in a new perfect little life into our family. Our little one will be a real person with a pre-defined personality, likes and dislikes and a potentially heart breaking back story. That is the same for all adopted children whether they are 10 months old or 10 years old. And whilst we hope that our little one will be a young infant, the reality is they are more likely to be 2 years old and not so new a perfect any more.

I really hope our family can cope with the big changes bringing an adopted little person will have. Knowing them I have faith that they will more than cope, they will raise to the challenge… Here’s hoping we can too…

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